She Mix?

Sara and the kids took the bus downtown with me on my Friday morning commute, just for fun. The kids had a fun time riding in a moving vehicle without seatbelts, and Sara enjoyed meeting the few other regular commuters with whom I share the ride and shoot the breeze each weekday morning. All in all, it was a pleasant little trip for the family.

On the ride back home later that morning, Sara and the kids sat all the way in the back of the bus, where a young African-American man wearing baggy shorts and a hooded sweatshirt (in 90-degree weather) struck up a conversation with Sara, asking about the kids — How old are they? Where do they go to school? — the usual small talk. Then he nodded toward Lucy and asked, “She mix?” Sara paused, and then replied matter of factly, “No, she’s not mix.”

  *  *  *  *

Lucy is a martianWhen Sara recounted the story to me Friday night, I was shocked. Shocked! How could anyone possibly suspect Lucy of being “mix”? I mean, I thought we had taken every precaution not to let the general public in on our little secret. But somehow, this perceptive young man was able to peer beneath the human-like exodermis that we had developed for her and see what nobody else before him had ever recognized: Our daughter is a human-martian hybrid!

Now that the secret is out, I am mustering all the courage I have and announcing to the world our alien ancestry. If you hover your cursor over the photo of Lucy, you will see, perhaps for the first time, her “true colors.” Please, dear friends, don’t despise us just because we’re different. Look deep within your hearts, I beseech you, and find some compassion for the likes of us. If President Bush believes “that the human being and the fish can coexist,” then can’t interplanetary species just get along?

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6 Responses to She Mix?

  1. Debbi says:

    I love it! That ranks right up there with the people who ask if I am Swedish, or say that Brandi looks just like me! If the rest of the world were that oblivious, then racism would be non-existant. Most likely, his brain cells were just melting from wearing a hoodie in the summer!

  2. Jason Harrod says:

    I think the not-so-smooth young man was flirting with your wife.

  3. Dad says:

    You found an amusing twist to that story, creative guy that you are, neatly complemented by the “little green giant” photo (how did you DO that?). I agree with Jason, though maybe it was more dissin’ than flirting. Wouldn’t you love to hear the version of that story he told to family and friends?

  4. Aunt Ginny says:

    This is too funny! Obviously since he didn’t detect any ‘mix’ in Ben, the aging process makes it less discernable. Fortunately, y’all don’t have the cranial anomalies that made life on earth difficult for Dan Akroyd and Jane Curtin in the Coneheads!

  5. Not sure whether he was dissin’ or flirting or just trying to pass the time. I don’t think Sara even knows. But it sure sounded hilarious when she told me about it. Aunt Ginny, our coneheads were nothing that years of plastic surgery couldn’t fix. ;)
    Dad, there is a little trickery behind that photo, but it’s really very simple. It’s actually two pictures in a single file. By default, the top half is visible and the bottom half is hidden. When you hover over it, the top half becomes hidden and the bottom half becomes visible. If I set a specific visible height, say 150 pixels, I can have the top margin change back and forth between 0 and -150 pixels. I’m sure I’ve just explained this in way more detail than you bargained for, but anyway, here is what the picture looks like when you can see the whole thing at once:
    lucy revealed

  6. Dad says:

    Thanks for the explanation, Karl, which is not only detailed, but completely beyond my comprehension. Oh, well….

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