It came as a great surprise to me that our president, who we all know is a fearless commander in chief, dynamic leader of the free world, and public speaker extraordinaire, also happens to be a remarkable poet. Apparently I’m one of the last people to be clued in to this, since W’s poem has been floating around the internet since 2002, but just in case you haven’t seen it yet either, I am reprinting, for your reading pleasure, this poem derived completely from actual W quotes:
MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush
I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It’s a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.
Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!
The story goes that the poem was originally stitched together and published by Washington Post columnist Richard Thompson. If you find it hard to believe that Bush could be so talented, I urge you to visit the entry at the Urban Legends website and read through the fact-checking report.
As with much good poetry, this verse is best when read aloud. So give your friend or grandmother a call and have some high-brow fun!